To be honest, I don’t usually make New Year’s Resolutions. I feel that for the most part they are temporary changes that don’t last and usually involve depriving yourself of something, which isn’t necessarily the best way to start off the year. 

This year I decided to make a resolution, or rather a personal goal, that I really want to work on because I think it will truly improve my overall health- physical, mental, and emotional. 

My goal is simple on the surface but for me will take a lot of effort and probably more than a few stumbles along the way. So what is it?

To be kinder to myself

As a nutritionist and personal trainer, I am constantly celebrating my client’s small victories, telling them that it is only human to indulge every now and then, and that I want them to train hard and stick to their program but to also allow themselves to “live a little”.

For some reason it is easy to believe these words when they are directed at someone else, but when it comes to my own training, diet, work, etc., I tend to have no mercy. If I skip a day at the gym I feel guilty, if I have one too many chocolate covered almonds at a get-together with friends (because there is never a get-together without them) I feel ashamed and like I should have had more self-control, and when my business isn’t quite where I want it to be or thought it would be by this point, I feel failure.

The problem is that these feelings– guilt, shame, and failure– are extremely negative and are not only damaging to my mental and emotional heath but will also not lead to the results that I want.

Now, I could take the conventional route and resolve to never skip the gym, deprive myself of all indulgent foods, and commit 100% of my time to my business, but again, I would not get the result I want because any slight misstep would inevitably lead back to those same feelings.

So instead, here is what I want for myself in 2017.

Exercise to be strong, fit, healthy, and because it truly is something I love to do, not something I HAVE to do. Do it when I want and in a way that makes me happy.  Do it because I enjoy being able to lift heavy weights and run long distances, not because I feel like I have to look a certain way. And if I have to skip a day, know that I didn’t do it because I am lazy or making excuses but because I gave something else priority on that day and that is okay.

Eat consciously and with purpose. Chose foods that are nourishing and supportive to my body. Focus on health instead of weight, measurements, or what others might think. Don’t make “treats” a regular part of the diet but remember that every now and then, eating something because it brings me joy rather than for the details on the nutrition label is ok and doesn’t make me a bad nutritionist or trainer. I am human too and sometimes humans have chocolate and wine.

Work hard to improve my business but take time to appreciate what I have done so far. Starting from the bottom and building something on my own is hard. The fact that I’m not being a roaring success (yet) does not mean that I have failed; it means I’m still learning and growing. Accept that these things take time and as long as I am doing all that I can to make it work I am not failing.

Swap guilt, shame, and failure for acceptance, love, and kindness. It will not be easy but it is possible and worth the effort.

So there it is. A very honest and hopeful start to 2017.

May we all be a little bit kinder to ourselves this year.